General Cumtally Ballsiogot (Born Woolie James) AKA Sweet Jones is a well recognized general in the ASBA (Anti Spiderbear Alliance). Many of history's heros have served under General Ballsiogot, such as Booker DeWitt, Dean Martin and Humphrey Bogart. Nothing is known of his life prior to his high school years. Some say he was created in a test tube, some say he was sent by the gods themselves, some say thats fucking retarded.
Rise to generalEdit
According to some scholars, he became a general after slaughtering 35 bear spiders with his bare hands during the 7 hour long secret between humans and bearspiders. They say his entire family was captured and executed by Bearspiders while he was still an infant, some also say that Bearspiders stole his lunch money in middle school when he was kinda chubby. A more realistic and less idotic rumor is that he just hates everything with a burning passion (excluding vests, weed, pussy, money, pizza and cocaine).
Exploits in the Mojave WastlandEdit
After getting randomly sucked into a black hole that spawned in his bedroom one day, Cumtally Ballsiogot came to the Mojave Wasteland and began to change the world around him. From murdering children, to enslaving hookers and selling jet to Fiends then viciously destroying their leadership for money, he did it all. He plays both sides in the war, helping the NCR take back Nelson and then helping the Legion disarm NCR mines and repairing their howitzer. His actions eventually caught up to him when Caesar sent him an ultimatum: join the Legion or die. General Ballsiogot then murdered everybody at the fort, including the slaves.
This is a list of the many battles, conquests and politcial battles of wit:
The Federal Repubic of Bearspidertopia (1948-1956)
The Communistic Empire of Bearspiderville (1964-1965)
The Country of Bearspiders Will Never Go Away Mother Fuckair (1998-2001)
The Whiskey Rebellion (1791)
The Drugged Drawings of EB After He Abused Morphine (2012)
The Great Frost Assault (Nov. 12th, 35,799)
World War III - As Native America (2013)